fable and truth
for a while now ive been going by fable, but i didnt remember where than name came from until i heard it in a song. Fable by Gigi Perez is a beautiful song, and it feels so.. me. I dont know how to explain it. I loved Sailor Song by gigi, it felt relatable, but Fable seemed to touch me in a way i didnt understand- i dont think i ever will. Hell, i dont think i interpret the song the way that gigi wrote it.
"Stars blink like my sister's eyes" makes me think of myself. I like to think of my younger self as my sister, a girl who was once so happy and carefree, just happy to be alive. But the girl i use to be, so free from complexity i was able to just be myself and not need to label myself one way or the other. I dont think she's alive anymore, i could never see her again. The song is short but i feel like there is so much underlying that feels so... me, in a way. "It's so rare that somebody'd look out for you; Thoughts and prayers was all they'd do" is such a great line because it highlights how sometimes people wont do anything to help you, just hope that somebody else will save you while you fall apart. I think i felt this way when i was younger, praying to a god i didnt believe in saying that i would do anything for him if he saved me. It sucked, not having anyone there. hell, when i read "Divinity says, "Destiny can't be earned or returned"" it fucking sucks because i realize how much i cant change the past. What has happened, has happened, and i have to deal with it.
One of the most notable lines in the song is "Love was the law and religion was taught", one that many people have clipped for tiktoks and is so relatable to many as a queer experience. I feel like it wasnt written with that in mind, more with that people were supposed to help instead of saying god will fix it, however out of the context of the song i definitely heard it and related it to how i felt like people valued religion over kindness and helping people, and even generally my queer experience. I dont know why i chose Fable as my name, but i know that it came from this song. In a way, i can tie it down: The rhythem and tone of the song feels so much like how i have such a complex relationship with gender. For many years, i lived life as a girl. and then for many more years, i lived life as a boy. Now i feel an inane connection to both identities due to my experiences, something i cant seperate from one another. I cant detangle them from myself, the years i felt like a cis woman and the years i felt like a trans man. They are apart of me, and arent something i can seperate from myself even if they arent my gender identity now. I feel like Fable is so short and yet so meaningful, a feminine air to it and yet so clearly nuianced and difficult to pin down. I dont know if i will ever legally change my name to Fable, ive changed my name enough times that i feel like it would be pointless to do so. However, i do know that Fable will always be my online identity, my name on the internet. Its kinda me.
02/24/25 :3